demented projectionist
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
  ok, so that is a load off. i end work at KOAM on aug 15. this is great because it gives me time to get some sleep before my first day of college. things are just a skosch better. but now i gotta secure another job. shouldnt be TOO hard though. 
  so why is it, when someone says it cant get any worse, it does. im tired. im so fucking tired, and finally about to lose all hope in everything. why is it, some people i know sit here and steal, smoke, drink, fuck their brains out, and are perfectly happy. how is it, i have never in my life sat back and stole, smoked (anything) drank, and am still a virgin, yet i have to go thru all this shit. im emotionally drained, physically exhausted, and spiritually dying it seems. i wont even get a break. i go straight from working at television (im turning in 2 week notice today) to college. and i still have another job. i will be looking for another one as well, because theater wages arent quite the best. so ill still have 2 jobs, and college. but ill get to sleep at night. ill have partial days to have band practice, and play my heart and soul out on guitar. and still have yet nothing to look forward to. i wonder if it is finally thru. if all we have looked forward to, all we have worked for, is done. God i hope not. ive given her 5 years ive waited, im willing to wait another 9 months. if the entire world had lost hope except for me...as of now the world is finally completely hopeless. 
Monday, August 04, 2003
  i went to the gas station, and i filled my tank. gas was $1.52 a gallon.
i kinda consider my blogs my journal/diary. when i was at youth conference this past weekend, one of the speakers told us to go home, and write this in our journal. about how we should write things in our journal, because someone will read it. one day, my grandkids will read this and say "wait, grandpa went to a sta-tion and paid money for a combustable liquid? and then sat on it? and lit it on fire as transportation???" and then they will laugh at our ignorance and blatent stupidity.
 
demented ramblings from the mind of a theater projectionist

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